jailbird*

"and when I looked at him through the glass, I almost broke down. but then he said 'remain strong babygirl. ill be home before long"

today was a happy/hard day for me.
I was finally able to go visit my brother in jail. I didn't know if I'd be able to handle it or not, but I had to go.

as I drove up to the place he was in, I couldn't help but wonder 'geez, I wonder how he looks now'. I haven't seen him in abt eight months. I parked and hopped up out the jag, eager to get inside and be able to hug my big bro, and smell his scent...see his smile again.

I had to go through the whole security check and all tht and then I would be able to go to the visitation area. I waited as they went and got my bro from his cell. abt five minutes later, I hear them anounce 'visitors for larry darnell gorham jr, please come in'

I walked through the open door, ready to go run and jump in his arms. but I was instead greeted by booths, tht had glass, which on the other side sat the inmates. 'wht the FCK is this?' I thought. I followed the officer to the booth my big bro was at.

as I rounded the booth wall, I looked through the glass, and there sat D. tho he had a smile on his face, I could see the sadness in his eyes. all I could do was put my hand to the glass, trying to get as close to him as I possibly could, and semi smile back.

I sat and picked up the phone they had set up, so I could talk to him. we sat and talked...talked abt this and tht, how he was doing, how my life was going, and when he could possibly get out. 'I got five years lil sis. five years....' he said, before he started to cry. 'I'm sorry. I know I said I'd always be here for you...' was all he managed to say. 'it's ok D. ill be ok.' I said. I had to at least make him believe I was ok without him.

truth is, I'm not. my big brother...tht was my nigga! lol. man. whenever I was sad, mad, felt horrible or whteva, he was my escape and always made me feel better. but now tht he's in jail, who am I to turn to? everyday I wish he would have just left the gun alone. and then maybe he wouldn't be gone so long...

ill be counting down the days til he's out, and when I can finally be with my fav person again. for now, I guess I can just look at old pictures, think of all the good memories, and hold his daughter, my beautiful niece, close whenever I think abt him.

we all waiting for you at home D.

love, mikey. <3